This weekend has been full of backwards progress and near surrender. Over the past week I've been working very faithfully on my Finn cardigan in the evenings, and the body was just a few rows from being done when I realized there was a huge color change when I joined the new skein. Friends, I had to rip out over 50 rows of progress, and I was not happy. I'm still not happy, but all I can do is keep plugging along and know that it'll be better for this setback.
Yesterday I did another training ride for the Tour de Cure, and friends, it was a hard one. I decided to ride to the river eight miles from my house and back, and the whole way there I was riding into the wind. My hips hurt, my neck hurt, my back hurt, my elbow hurt, my knee hurt. My hands and feet got tingly and went numb, and I wanted to stop at least three times before making it to the river. I cried. It was not very dignified.
But I kept going. Because it wouldn't mean anything if I'd given up. Sure, any riding is better than no riding, but I needed to fight through it. And it was hard, and it really sucked, but the Tour is in three weeks, and I'm going to be riding 50 miles, which is longer than I've ever ridden. And I don't know if I can do it. In fact, I won't know for sure if I can do it until it's done.
I didn't know if I could finish yesterday's ride, either. And that's why I kept going. Because I never know how a day is going to go-if I'm going to have a crazy low and be out of commission, or if I'm going to be crazy high and need to take extra insulin every hour. I never know what's going to happen, and I never get to give up and just not be diabetic for a day. I want this tour to mean something, I want to face the uncertainty, and I don't want to give up. And having all of you supporting me just makes me more determined to fight through these hard rides.
So again, thank you all so much. Because when I was a mile from the river, crying and in pain and ready to call my dad to come pick me up, it was the thought of your support that kept me pedaling, and I know you'll all be with me through the ride on July 9th.
Linking up with KCCO