Rules for Feeding the Stash

Friday, May 8, 2020

Day Fifty-Six

I've been working from home for eight weeks now. It feels simultaneously like I just started two weeks ago and that I've been doing this forever. The university is supposed to start opening up after next week, at least for staff and faculty. I don't know what that means for me, yet. I don't know what anything means right now.

I started this My Little Secret Crop Top back in March, right when the pattern was initially released. I banged out most of the body pretty quickly, and then it sat for a while while I dithered on how much length to add. In the past couple days, I've finished the body and the first strap. I hate knitting straps, but I know I can finish this in less than an hour if I just sit down and make myself do it. 

I could probably do a lot of things right now, if I just sat down and made myself do them.

Yesterday I made bagels. My stand mixer arrived on Wednesday, and she is the brightest gem in my life. Today I plan to make eggs so I can turn some of the bagels into breakfast sandwiches to keep in the freezer for days when I just really need a breakfast sandwich. 

I've been poking at some housework this week. I made a list in my phone of housekeeping projects I want to get done during quarantine. Some are bigger than others; I don't know if I'll get them all done. 

Lee Lee has arthritis, and her bad leg has really been bothering her for a couple weeks. This week we got a hold of some pain meds for her, and she's starting to improve. I find myself gauging my mood based on how she's feeling: if she isn't walking, it'll be a quiet, slow day, and if she's happy to wake up and ready to try running, then it will be a good day. My own moods lately feel at once unchanging and wildly unpredictable, leaving me feeling like nothing is changing but also exhausted from the work of existing as a person. It's no wonder I'm trying to outsource my own feelings to my dog's recovery.

Hang in there, kittens. The first wave hasn't even peaked here, yet, but I know some of you are already gearing up to prepare for the second wave. You are beautiful, and you are strong, and you're doing great so far. I know it doesn't always feel like it, but you're doing enough. 

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