I finally got hit with a big wave of loneliness yesterday—it felt ridiculous, since I've been on the phone with my mum every day, and we've visited each other outside the past several days, but I just got another wave of how different everything is and it was too much.
On one of my most recent runs to the store I picked up a big bag of birdseed for the feeder outside my living room window. I figure if Lee Lee and I are stuck at home all the time, at least we can have something fun to look at. Not all of the neighborhood birds have realized it's full yet, but we've had a couple finches visit.
I've been baking a lot. Baking is always soothing for me, and now I have the time and flexibility in my day to bake a lot. It's a concrete way of remembering that I have an effect on the world around me—I can't really do anything to stop Covid-19 (yes, I know that staying home is the most important thing I can do), but I can make a cake. I can make bread. I can do things. I matter.
It's not just baking, either: I can pull the dead leaves off my plants. I can knit a row on my sweater. I can put birdseed in my feeder so the finches get nice and fat. It's those small but still tangible things that are going to help us get through this.
We're all in this together. We are so strong and creative and resilient. We're doing our best. We're superstars, every one of us. I love you all.